I Cry When I Drink
by Scarlynn Snape
Summary: Harry is out wondering the halls one night when he happens upon a very drunk Snape.


**Here's a little one shot that takes place during Harry's fifth year. It's just a pointless little story that I decided to write. You may recognize some of this from AVPS. Warnings, drunkSnape, OocSnape, Not really AU but this would never happen in the books, mild swearing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.**

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Fifth year Harry Potter ran swiftly through the halls of Hogwarts under his invisibility cloak. He was out after curfew again. He had no excuse. He found that with Dumbledore gone, Umbridge in control of the school, and strange visions haunting his sleep, he was rather restless. Earlier that night, he had snuck out just after curfew, slipping out of his dormitory and making his way to the Astronomy tower. He had sat up there for a few hours just thinking to himself. He hadn't realized how late it had gotten, but it was now past one, and Harry really needed to get back to his dormitory.

However, he was suddenly stopped in one of the hallways close to the Astronomy Tower. He heard a strange noise. It sounded like a person. Actually it sounded like a person humming. Harry slowly peaked around the corner, and, much to his surprise, he saw his potions professor Severus Snape sitting on the ground, drunk. He couldn't believe it. His fearsome, hateful potions professor was drunk. Actually, the man was quite drunk. Harry decided that he could have some fun with this.

Slowly making his way over to Snape, he took his cloak off and stood in front of him. Snape looked up at Harry. "Oh, Potter where did you come from?"

Harry silently laughed to himself. Oh yeah, this was going to be fun. "Oh, hello Snape. I didn't see you there."

"Wandering the halls like your good-for-nothing father, Potter?" Snape asked as he took another swig from the bottle he had with him.

"Of course, Snape. I was wandering the halls just to agitate you." Harry told the man with a smirk plopping down on the ground next to him.

Snape didn't say anything in response to that, but he did take another drink. Suddenly, the man said, "I'm sad, Potter."

Harry looked at him confused. "No offense, sir, but you don't look very sad. You're not crying or anything that would make me believe that you're sad. You're just acting like your usual self, except only drunk."

"I'm crying, Potter. Can't you see my tears?" Snape asked, swinging the bottle in his hand.

"No, sir, I'm afraid I don't see any tears, but you have to realize that my eyesight is rather poor. Maybe if you let me have a drink of that, it might help my sight." Harry said, hoping that in his drunken state, Snape might share with him.

Luck was not on his side. Snape pointedly ignored him by taking another drink. "I don't know how you can't see my tears, Potter. You see, I cry when I drink… and I drink when I cry… and I'm always drinking."

"Therefore, you're always crying," Harry muttered under his breath. Talking a little louder, Harry asked, "Professor, why do you hate me so much?"

Snape looked at him in surprise. "Hate you? Oh, that's right, I hate you." He swirled the contents of the bottle around before taking another drink. "I do hate you, Potter. But, that's not fair really because it was your dad that I hated."

Harry crossed his legs and looked down at the ground. "What about my mom? You never talk about her. You only complain about my dad."

Snape surprised the green eyed boy by placing a hand on his shoulder. "Actually, Potter, I hated her too. See, I was her best friend, you know? I was in love with her. I wanted to marry her and have little Snape children with her. You know, you could have been a little, Snape, Potter. I wouldn't have named you Harry though. It makes you sound like a mangy mutt like your dogfather. I'd have named you Tiberus or something. I was in love with her." Snape took another drink and then hiccupped. "I was so in love with her. But then, I accidently called her a mudblood, and she left me to go hang out with your stupid father and his sidekick, Black, and their pet wolf, Lupin."

"You hate my mum and dad because he was a prick to you and you didn't get to name me Tiberus?" Harry attempted to clarify with the man. Truthfully, the man wasn't making any sense, but he was at the same time. Were his parents not the idols he believed them to be? He would have to worry about that later. "Snape, why are you drinking?"

"I already told you, Potter. I'm sad, and I'm—"

"Yes, you're crying because you're drinking. I get it. What I mean is, what's making you sad?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. Well, he did the best he could in his current state. "You really wanna know, Potter?"

"Might as well. I've got nothing better to do at almost two in the morning." Harry told him as he leaned up against the wall behind him to get more comfortable.

"Well, you see, I'm in love with Professor Sinistra, but when I went to tell her that, she turned me down. She was all like 'I don't think that this is going to work, Severus. I'm in love with someone else.' Then I asked her who she was in love, and you know what she said, Potter?"

"I can only imagine," Harry mumbled.

"Lockhart. She's in love with Gilderoy Bloody Lockhart. Can you believe that? That—that—that asshole can't even remember his own name, but she's in love with him. I told her exactly how I felt about that. Yep, and then I called her several names. When I left her rooms, she was in tears."

As bad as Harry felt for Snape and his recent heartbreak, it was nothing compared to the sympathy he felt towards Professor Sinistra. Harry could only imagine the things that Snape had called her.

Snape took another long drink before continuing his story. "After I left Sinistra's tower, I made my way back down to the dungeons. I admit, I was quite angry and I even made several Hufflepuffs cry. But, as I took another ten points from that stupid house, I saw Minerva taking points from her own house. I felt a large amount of glee at this, and realized that I may be in love with her. But how could I be in love with Min Min when I was just in love with Sinistra. But then I also realized that she's as old as my mum, and I didn't want to be dating my mum. I needed to talk to someone about my feelings, but my only friend is Dumbledore. Dumbledore's not here. I have no one to talk to, so I decided to drink. Actually, I was already kind of drunk from my third year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw class, but now I'm even more drunk!" Snape exclaimed as he took another drink.

Harry couldn't believe what he had just heard. First of all, he was quite sure that the man was nuts. Second of all, he couldn't believe that the man was drinking and getting drunk during class, especially a class with highly explosive things in it. Finally, Harry was quite certain that Snape either needed some serious help or he needed more friends.

"Well," Harry said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, "I can understand why you're drinking. Now, can I please try some of that? I won't tell if you won't."

Snape shook his head. "Go get some from Granger. I bet she has some." Snape went to take another drink, but he found that the bottle was empty. "Bloody hell."

"Well, I guess we should probably get you back to your quarters," Harry said as he stood up.

Snape threw the empty bottle aside and pulled another full one out from inside his robes. "Don't worry, Potter. I have more."

Before he could open the bottle, Harry swiped it from him. "I think you're done for the night."

Before Snape could say anything, they heard footsteps down the hall. A rather upset Professor McGonagall had joined their nighttime party. "What is the meaning of this? Potter, why do you have a bottle of alcohol?"

Harry shoved it at her. "He's crying."

McGonagall shook her head in amusement. "He's always crying."

Harry rolled his eyes. "He's half nuts and I'm going to bed. Good night Professor, Snape."

Snape brushed him off. "Forget you."

"Sorry I killed the party, Snape."

"What party? Hey! Are you making fun of me because I have feelings and actual problems?" Snape asked as he tried to stand up, but he merely fell back down.

Harry and McGonagall shared a look before Harry bade her goodnight again and made his way to his dorm under his invisibility cloak. McGonagall turned her attention back to Snape who was lying on the ground. "What are we going to do with you, Severus?"

"Urg, I am so drunk, Minerva."

Minerva laughed as she helped the Potions Master up. "I know you are. Now, let's get you down to your quarters and let you sleep this off. You have fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins first thing in the morning."

With that, the two professors slowly made their way down to the dungeons.

The following morning at breakfast, everyone at the Great Hall was talking cheerfully with each other until Professor Snape stormed into the Hall in a seemingly foul mood and, what surprised everyone the most, a pair of sunglasses on his face. While everyone was questioning the odd behavior of their potions master, Ron turned to Harry and asked, "What do you reckon?"

Harry shrugged and took another bite of his breakfast. "Don't know, Ron. Maybe he was crying last night."

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**I hope that this wasn't too terrible. Hope you enjoyed it and please leave me a review! Thanks for reading!**


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